Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Realizing things

Its horrible that you never really truly realize what you have until its gone. I know how much I love you and I have known all along how much you meant to me. I knew i wanted to marry you and live the rest of my life with you. No matter what problems we came across or faced, I swore that no matter what I'd always be there by your side. Its been 3 long years and here we are again faced with another break up. 
My mental illness constantly consumes me overtime. No matter how medicated I am or how much I think that I am in control, Im not. I dont understand why I always have to have these manic attacks and lose control. I push everyone that I love and want in my life away. 
I love you with every ounce of my being and I will never give up on us. No matter what I will keep fighting for control and do my best to be what you deserve from me. 

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